I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
