So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize