That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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