i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
