no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
