When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
