where am i from again
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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