Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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