Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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