someone threw a dead crab at me
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
whose ass print is on the piano?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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