question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need to wash the frat house off of me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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