note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
