Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
