Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I would fuck him just for his dog
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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