Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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