Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i will never coherently bang her
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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