I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
