As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
