some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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