True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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