hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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