what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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