my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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