If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Randomize
