In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
