im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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