i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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