Do you still have your period?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
