if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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