And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
