and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
love makes seman taste better
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
