I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
