Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
birth control should be required to get into college
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize
