She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
