Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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