Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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