Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Let's get the cat blown out
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
