i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
