i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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