Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
