Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
