pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
