If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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