I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
