Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it's great music for shaving your balls
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
