I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
