what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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