Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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