I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
