The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
