Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize