He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
