I'm so fucking centered right now
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
