it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
