So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i think i just lost a toe
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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