I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
