I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize