Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
