u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
