Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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