nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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