i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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