K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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