Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
