she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Girls should come with a carfax report
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
