my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
